dalekpatronus: (HIMYM ✪ THUG)
So I'm getting really tired of all these ragefits.

Suffice it to say I'm sick of the fucking mom logic and even more sick of the ever-present drama with Shawn and Stan.

Wish I gave a rat's ass about all that. bnr.

It wouldn't be so bad if in mom logic land I wasn't the bad guy no matter what I do. The Shawn and Stan bs wouldn't be as awful if my gd mom could talk about something other than that sometimes. It's like everything out of her mouth is either about that or about how someone fucked up somehow. All of a sudden we can't have silence while watching a show, there has to be random commentary about OH DID I TELL YOU WHAT SHAWN/STAN/YOUR DAD/YOU FUCKED UP TODAY?

At least work went by easily enough, save for the upset at lunch over the retarded mom logic vs date shit.

There's some other shit I'm pretty miffed about, but in the end I guess it doesn't matter. I really shouldn't have been surprised about the way things would turn out, despite my efforts.

I'm still coming down from the anger, by the time we get back into the room I'm probably going to be exhausted and clingy. But at least I won't feel like punching things anymore. I hope. I'll just be cuddly or something. IDEK.

[livejournal.com profile] heartaddiction, I love you. Thank you for putting up with all my rages and shitfits. You're so patient with me. ❤

dalekpatronus: (RYOKI ✪ hoho)
I had stuff to write about, but I'm feeling lazy now.

Work sucks. Probably need a new job at some point but that seems really difficult to achieve and the alternative could always be worse.

Hope everyone ended up having good holidays, Christmas here was awesome and new year's was even better. I'm certain the company helped and I'm really looking forward to what the rest of the year has in store for me. Last year had it's ups and downs, but ultimately I couldn't be happier with the way that things turned out.

School talk is coming up again, I do want to go back but it seems that saving money is just not happening for me right now. Something to think about in the future, at least.

I spent all day being cranky, but I'm feeling immensely better now. Getting the chance to rest and be with the person that means the most to me really did put a smile on my face. ❤

dalekpatronus: (WHO ✪ TARDIS)
Sudden headache because of one fucking thing said, it's really fantastic. It probably wasn't even meant in a malicious way, but still the presentation was pretty messed up. I really do want to o back to school and finish, but unless I go somewhere else (where the cost of living is way too high) what I was going for just isn't going to work out here. But when I come up with an alternative that I know I can finish, that I know I'm passionate about, it's treated like I've decided on something that sounds completely ludicrous. It's not like I said I wanted to get a degree in being an astronaut-cowboy-demon hunter, so why treat it that way? Why completely downplay something important to me and make me feel like crap for even entertaining the idea. Again, probably not done on purpose, but it still hurts like hell when people are selectively supportive.

I need to stop thinking on it, my head is starting to hurt way too much.

I've been trying to come up with a new theme for my journal, but creativity is running low or something. I can't even decide on a series/image for the header even though I have a song in mind.

Sign ups went up for the holiday party at work, including sign ups for a dessert competition and another talent show. It really would be nice if other people would sign up for the show this year, make it a little more fun. I did sign up already, even if no one else has, I just need to decide on something. I'd rather choose now than waffle toward the end like I did last year.

I have other things to look forward too, though, at least it seems that way. Something that could make me the happiest I've ever been has the potential to be right around the corner. So I really should just do my best to keep my spirits up and not let the little things get to me. ❤

dalekpatronus: (SAILORMOON ✪ ❤)
Fuwaaaaa, I really feel like I want to write a big entry about last week and all the fun stuffu that was done but there's just so much to talk about.

Suffice it to say it was awesome, though I know that was because of the company I had.

I really wasn't ready to come home, I wish I had a way to make things more permanent right away but I know that's asking a lot. I'll just wait and hope for something sooner than later, as always I'll be happy with what I can get.

Now if I could shake this sickness I might be able to adjust to being home again a little more easily. I had such a good time and I wanted to stay so badly that now that I'm here a lot of little things are irritating me. Though, I don't think it helps being sick and that monthly punishments decided this was the best time to show up too. OH WELL.

dalekpatronus: (DT ✪ trust me)

Goddamn, today was so much more annoying than it needed to be. I woke up in a really good mood and then once I got to work it was just like pfffffft, auto deflate or something. Idk, maybe it was just the fact that I was told a bunch of bullshit before any of it really needed to be said.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better and more relaxing, provided that things get back to normal.

Just a few more days. Everyone at work keeps asking me if I'm excited about my trip and I really am. Already trying to plan out things, but more I'm just looking forward to the company I'll be keeping. That's mostly what the whole thing is about anyway, the chance to have more time.

Still really need gas in my car. Still really need a haircut. Today I got so fed up with my hair that I just pushed the part over a little farther than it usually falls and slapped so much product into it not even the wind could move it. Sometimes I really hate the fact that my hair is naturally curly, I really enjoy most of the styles more suited for people with straight hair so much more.

dalekpatronus: (KUROMI ✪ Sparkles)
I love going to bed feeling this content.

There's really only one thing in the world that would make me feel more complete.

dalekpatronus: (VINCENT ✪ ❤?)
Got my new phone today, it's pretty nice so far. I think I lost a few of the convenience features on this one that I had on the last one, but I'll manage. I JUST REALLY LOVE THE TINY KEYBOARD, EVEN IF IT'LL TAKE SOME GETTING USED TO.

[livejournal.com profile] heartaddiction is already putting some of our plans for October into motion and it just keeps getting more and more exciting the closer it gets. Once I get my check this week I need to look at paying some of the AmEx off and perhaps look into some of the Halloween Haunt tickets, see if it's better to buy them online beforehand or wait until she has a chance to check out the coupons at Burger King.

We'll see, we'll see~

All I know is this is what I'm looking forward to the most right now. *^*

Watched up last night and found myself getting very emotional over certain parts, possibly more so because I've been so sick. It turned out to be really good and I'm sad that it took me so long to see it, same with Planet 51.

I also watched all of the Monster High stuff they have out and it's so cute. I really want the dolls, they're so adorable. ;a;

I didn't want to call in today, but the way I was practically hacking up a lung. Tomorrow is the first day in the gift shop, so we'll see how that ends up going.

I use a lot of old man icons. Maybe it's because I'm an old man. idek.

dalekpatronus: (WHO ✪ TARDIS)
I don't think my house has ever felt this depressing.

I just wish that I could have kept everything together until after I left the airport, but there's not much I can do about it now. I'm already thinking on how I can get everything arranged for October, because absolutely nothing is going to stop me.

I feel a little drained right now, maybe that's why the house feels the way it does. It was really sad walking into my room when I got home and it feeling so...empty? I got so used to the company and the warmth that was around, I'm almost positive that sleeping is going to be a little more than difficult for a while.

I made it before, I can make it again. Maybe sometime soon her presence will be much more permanent, at least I can hope for that much. I'll definitely keep trying for it, that's for sure. ❤

dalekpatronus: (POKEMON ✪ Le rawr~)
I'm eating some kind of sherbet/italian ice hybrid with a candy stick. It's so amazingly delicious and frosty. *^*

Also, marshmallow Fruit Loops are fantastical. :| I could barely pull myself away from the box earlier.

Today was an easy day at work, I have Friday off again which means that I can enjoy my weekend just that much more. More time with [livejournal.com profile] heartaddiction, that's what I'm looking forward to the most. ❤

Now back to the aisu before it's drinkable. +_+

dalekpatronus: (FF9 ✪ smishings)
Not even a thousand words could truly express how very lucky I feel right now. Or every day, for that matter. 

dalekpatronus: (VK ✪ Hnnnn)
Guh. I hope this weekend wasn't an indication of how the rest of the week is going to go, I don't think I can handle another meltdown.

Friday was a disaster, I ended up flipping out and walking away from the customer service desk in an effort not to cry. Which didn't work because I ended up in the back crying anyway. Ultimately it was kind of funny because I'm not even sure that I was making much sense other than yelling about how stressed out I was because of work and some home issues. At any rate I really was looking forward to the break and then Saturday didn't quite turn out how I wanted but it could have been worse.

Then today, good god today was a disaster. It started out well enough, got to sleep in again which was nice. Not too long after I got up my mom had to call the ambulance to come and get my aunt because she's been having some serious issues all weekend. I thought that was the end of it and I'd get to enjoy a little bit of time to myself without many obligations. Watched a movie and a half on the big tv in the den until my dad came into the room, lost his balance and fell head first onto the edge of the coffee table. I proceeded to freak out, calling my mom who was still at the hospital and then ended up calling 911 for the second time. I swear those firemen are going to think that we abuse old people here, seeing as it was the same two that showed up the second time.

At any rate my dad ended up being okay, but after everything calmed down and my mom got home I realized that I lost my favourite phone charm. I seriously was still so frazzled that I started crying over it, tearing through things to try and find it with no results.  It took me a while to find the card that came with it and I contacted the maker to see if I could get a replacement for it, so now I just have to keep my fingers crossed.

I only have to make it a few more weeks, then I know everything is going to be okay. At least I'll have even more of a reason to look forward to coming home from work, have the chance to sleep a little better and feel completely content again.
dalekpatronus: (VOCALOID ✪ ☆)
I really was having such a nice dream, it's a shame that I had to get up and get ready for work.

Maybe if I'm lucky the day will pass by quickly and I can come home and take another nap. It'd be nice if I didn't end up being in a lot of pain too, but one thing at a time. I think it'll be good for a little while at least if I can just ride on the feelings that dream left me with for a while. ❤
dalekpatronus: (POKEMON ✪ ~3~)
Today really was a long day for many reasons, but it got better throughout the afternoon and even better once I got home.

I wonder if it's silly hoping so much for something and I almost worry that I'm pushing too hard, but just the thought that there's a possibility brings a smile to my face. Wishful thinking or not though, I'm really enjoying the feelings that I'm having. It's nice being able to go to bed feeling so content, now if I could just work on the waking up content part it'd be even better. ❤
dalekpatronus: (COBIE ✪ SPRINKLES)
I feel like I had something terribly profound to write when I opened this up, but as I sit here and stare at it I realize that I've practically got nothing.

Work was good, a few bumpy spots here and there with the potential to get worse. Though, I think in the long run it'll be okay.

I have to say I'm pleased with things in general, more so with that nice feeling I've been going to bed and waking up with. It's nice having that feeling that even if I have a shitty day I know things are going to be fine in the long run. Even better having things to really look forward to, having a lot of hope for what's to come. There were always little things to look forward to, of course, but the feeling is just even better now.

I actually meant for a nap when I got home, but maybe a little later. If at all. We'll see, we'll see~ Depends on whether this headache ever goes away or not, I guess.
dalekpatronus: (ALICE ✪ TADA)

See that picture right there? That's pretty much how I feel about the last week and a half.

I really do want to put up a more detailed post, but I'm not even sure I could express half of it properly. Let's just say for now that the vacation was awesome and I really couldn't be happier about the way that it turned out. I know at the end I wasn't really ready to go and I'm already thinking on the next venture out there. Between now and then there's possibilities to look forward to.

Though, I can't help but find it amusing that my mom really didn't want me to go to school out of state when I was first going and now that I've come back from this trip she's telling me how she kept saying initially that I should have gone to California for my Asian studies in the first place. :|  Mom logic, it never fails. ALWAYS RIGHT WHEN IT SUITS THEM! I'd like to think that I would be able to manage as much so I can actually get my degree, but that's a lot of planning and still a long ways away before I could even really think about it. We'll see. I'm sure if it comes up again she'll just tell me that she never told me to go ever.

I will admit, I really liked the things the climate did for my skin and my hair was even softer than normal. That almost makes it more tempting. Not only that, there's far more tempting and important incentives that I could think of, but one step at a time~ ❤  For now I'll just bask in this giddy and perfectly content state that I'm in.
dalekpatronus: (VOCALOID ✪ ☆)

Once again, I offer a thank you to the people that made my night so much better than the rest of my day. Thank you for putting up with my whining and just generally making me feel that things really weren't so bad. I really am so grateful that I have people like you in my life.

There's hope for tomorrow, at the very least. And if it turns out just as awful, then I'll simply look forward to coming home.
I really do owe some thanks to people that made my night so much better than it started out to be. You guys know who you are.

Especially you.
dalekpatronus: (HIMYM ✪ Soul Boner)
I feel so fucking awesome and accomplished today.

Awesome and accomplished and giddy.

Not even the severe pain I'm in can stop this feeling today.

More after I nap, maybe, but for now a meme. Because I want to.

So do it. :|

your synaesthesia.
dalekpatronus: (SAILORMOON ✪ HI MI TSU)


I hope your day goes well, darling, you absolutely deserve it. I only wish I had more to offer you. ❤
dalekpatronus: (FRUITSBASKET ✪ nnnnnf)
Decent day, even if I had a raging headache for most of it. I had a little issue an hour into work though, almost crippling pain in my side and hot flashes. It hurt so bad I wasn't sure if I was going to pass out or barf. :|

Lots of really nice customers though, mostly older people that wanted the chance to just chat with someone, I think. A few crappy ones here and there, but nothing really worth mentioning.

Except for the woman that had on leggings that had to have been at least three sizes too small. The back seam was about to burst and I guess I was making a terrible face and staring a little too much, because this very jovial Jamaican man noticed. He looked at what I was looking at and then looked at me again and started laughing as he walked away.

Lots of planning going on, but the more planning I do the more excited I get. I need to hold onto as much as I possibly can, that way I won't feel too stressed out to enjoy myself when the time comes.

Right now, I really feel like nothing can bring me down. Usually I would worry that a low is coming, but I'm happy enough just enjoying what I can. ❤

And now...idk, meme time. :|

The "What I've always wanted to tell you" Meme


dalekpatronus: (Default)
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