dalekpatronus: (HanaKimi - Futility. D:)
I think they really expect me to sing at the services for Mac when the time rolls around. It's not that I really mind, it's just things like that are difficult to do when there's so many raw emotions in one room. It sounds horrible, but my main concern is not being able to get through something without being visibly upset. :<

It shouldn't be, but that's what I think about.

My mom and I talked about how I bottle things, that I shouldn't because it's not really all that healthy. I explained it all and she just kind of nodded, noting that she used to do the same thing and that it's no wonder that I do it now too.

Again I was the only person in that room not crying. That's usually how it goes any more. There was a very long prayer said and all I could do was stand there and stare, I didn't really have any desire to be involved in it. But everyone was crying, tears dripping down off the ends of their noses and sniffling that practically echoed through the room...

I have more to write, but I'm being dragged out. I'll say it all later.

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