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So I was finally conned into watching my niece for a week and I already regret it.
I feel trapped having to stay up here, but I know better than to just leave her on her own to do as she pleases. Maybe tomorrow we'll work something out, because it seems that it's fine as long as she's home before dark. I just can't spend all of my time here like my sister wants me to. The last time I was here I couldn't bring myself to stay here all night and I think I finally worked out why. It's not really that it's a creepy place or that I don't feel safe, it's more that it's huge and feels kind of lonely. Perhaps if there was more than one or two people here it wouldn't seem so empty, but there's not really anything that can be done about it right now.
I'm feeling a little shitty again, but that could just be me feeling uncomfortable about being here. I think I'll just chalk it up to that. I think I'm getting a little too thoughtful and the fact that it took me nearly an hour to write this shows that I have zero focus, so maybe it's time to find something else to do.
[EDIT]
Funny how the most unlikely of movies ended up making me even MORE thinky and sending me back down into one of those moods. I thought perhaps it was the house influencing the way that I felt, but maybe it's the way I feel that makes me think the place feels lonely. I wandered around the thing from one end to the other, rifling through drawers and looking on shelves just trying to find something to amuse me or entertain me but I got nothing. I guess it's just one of those hopeless nights, even though I really did my best to prevent it. Can't be helped, can't be helped. Really there isn't much point to sitting here and going over all of it again, is there?
I feel trapped having to stay up here, but I know better than to just leave her on her own to do as she pleases. Maybe tomorrow we'll work something out, because it seems that it's fine as long as she's home before dark. I just can't spend all of my time here like my sister wants me to. The last time I was here I couldn't bring myself to stay here all night and I think I finally worked out why. It's not really that it's a creepy place or that I don't feel safe, it's more that it's huge and feels kind of lonely. Perhaps if there was more than one or two people here it wouldn't seem so empty, but there's not really anything that can be done about it right now.
I'm feeling a little shitty again, but that could just be me feeling uncomfortable about being here. I think I'll just chalk it up to that. I think I'm getting a little too thoughtful and the fact that it took me nearly an hour to write this shows that I have zero focus, so maybe it's time to find something else to do.
[EDIT]
Funny how the most unlikely of movies ended up making me even MORE thinky and sending me back down into one of those moods. I thought perhaps it was the house influencing the way that I felt, but maybe it's the way I feel that makes me think the place feels lonely. I wandered around the thing from one end to the other, rifling through drawers and looking on shelves just trying to find something to amuse me or entertain me but I got nothing. I guess it's just one of those hopeless nights, even though I really did my best to prevent it. Can't be helped, can't be helped. Really there isn't much point to sitting here and going over all of it again, is there?
