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You Mean More Than You Should Mean.
Jan. 18th, 2009 03:46 pmFunny the things that pop into your dreams when you're sick. Though in this case it's more about the fact that people I haven't thought of in years made guest appearances in the most recent one. I can't really say it was a bad dream or that it was entirely unwelcome, but I woke up thinking too hard. I do find it a little discouraging that certain things seem to be so easy for my dream self. I think if I could have held onto a little more aside from people's faces and the general premise of the dream, something would end up being a ton easier on me than it is at the moment.
It's so easy to be wonderfully eloquent when you don't have to worry about nerves or reactions or looking someone in the face. I keep going over the things that should be said, everything that should be added all at once and trying to gauge responses. I'm obsessing and overthinking, just like I usually do. I don't think I would be having an issue if I could come up with the words, but there's a problem with everything that I manage to come up with.
They aren't my words. I'll catch myself in the middle of a thought, realizing that it's borrowed from a song or some other source. Not a surprise when I associate nearly everything with a song, but annoying none the less. I'm beginning to think that going over things in my head isn't enough, I think I'm going to have to break out a piece of paper and start writing it out.
At least I'm feeling a little better today, that's something. Perhaps there's hope for work tomorrow after all. +_+ I really would like to be able to do my job without having to strain myself just to talk. Though I suppose if it comes down to it I could always request to stock or something...
Which reminds me that I still need to grab some boxes from work. I'll be lucky if I remember that when I wake up tomorrow, though.
It's so easy to be wonderfully eloquent when you don't have to worry about nerves or reactions or looking someone in the face. I keep going over the things that should be said, everything that should be added all at once and trying to gauge responses. I'm obsessing and overthinking, just like I usually do. I don't think I would be having an issue if I could come up with the words, but there's a problem with everything that I manage to come up with.
They aren't my words. I'll catch myself in the middle of a thought, realizing that it's borrowed from a song or some other source. Not a surprise when I associate nearly everything with a song, but annoying none the less. I'm beginning to think that going over things in my head isn't enough, I think I'm going to have to break out a piece of paper and start writing it out.
At least I'm feeling a little better today, that's something. Perhaps there's hope for work tomorrow after all. +_+ I really would like to be able to do my job without having to strain myself just to talk. Though I suppose if it comes down to it I could always request to stock or something...
Which reminds me that I still need to grab some boxes from work. I'll be lucky if I remember that when I wake up tomorrow, though.
