dalekpatronus: (SE - DEFEAT)
Fail, fail, fail.
dalekpatronus: (Bleach - Inside Lookin' Out)
FFFFFFFFFFF.

I thought today was better, I was wrong~. \o/

Stuff and things and stuff and things.  Every time I turn around there's something~ something~. 

That sounds awfully good right now. Too bad it's not this, then there wouldn't be an issue. Nevertheless, I'm still laughing.  Progress? Perhaps. Perhaps it's all just part of the steady decliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

Tomorrow: TO THE BANK. TO THE MOMMY'S. 

Right Now: TO THE BED. TO THE SLEEP.

Dear sweet lord I love entries like these.  Too bad, so sad, I'm only after entertainment.  Not yours, of course. Just mine.

Thanks, thanks, thanks. They are few and far between, but they're in order. You know who you are and if you have to question it, then perhaps they haven't been earned yet.


dalekpatronus: (AKIO - Whisper whisper~ ♥)
Start application...

Y/N? _


So much to say and nowhere near enough words to say it. I'm feeling ridiculously apathetic to everything and blah blah blah vague vague vague shit cock erection penis penis penis. Really, I love being able to put it into such simple terms.

Brain, that was uncomfortable. Don't let it happen again.


Now that we have all that clear, I'm going back to bed.
dalekpatronus: (AKIO - Zuuuuuu~)
Hnnnnnn....


Interesting dreams that I had all night, thought I suppose I can't really say that they were unpleasant. Not really in the least bit, just a little unsettling because I'm not really accustomed to such things. Maybe it's a sign? All I know is that it's nice to have some semblance of hope again.

It's just as I thought, but in the end things are probably better this way.  I hate it when other people are right, it means that I have to admit to doing something wrong.  Or at least doing things improperly, up until this point everything that was being done was just the standard for me...

I guess we'll see how it all pans out.
dalekpatronus: (HanaKimi - Futility. D:)
Why doesn't it ever come when I need it the most?

I just want to fucking sleep so that I can function at work tomorrow. Apparently that's too goddamn much to ask.

Brain? You can shut off anytime now. I don't want to think any more. Not about this, that or anything else for that matter. Could you just give it a rest for tonight?
dalekpatronus: (Reborn - Comfort)
Clarity is a wonderful thing.

Sometimes it comes so easily to you and others it's just far too elusive. When it hits though, it's usually such a bittersweet feeling. It's been coming in little spurts, sometimes just a bit more painful than I would like. But is there really any sort of growth that doesn't come with even a miniscule amount of pain?

There are things that I've been holding onto for so long, things that I wonder how I ever had any hope for in the first place. Years that I've spent with the same thoughts bouncing around in my head despite all the fighting that I've done to try and suppress them.

This has been months in the making and will probably take a lot more time still...

But I think it's time to let go.

I think there's something else that I should probably address, but I'm still in that stage. The delicious stage of denial that manages to overshadow how nice the clarity could be. Everything always seems to move in such a vicious cycle, you almost wonder if it's really worth it to try or even hope...

If there wasn't a bit of conflict now and then, things would be terribly boring, wouldn't they?

It takes some good to make it hurt, it takes some bad for satisfaction~.

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