And Let The Monster Rise.

Fuck fries and drama and hurt feelings and blah blah blah.

Fuck everything. >:|

I was hoping to be done with this mood by the time I went to bed tonight, but it seems that I won't be that lucky.  Perhaps tomorrow I'll have a bit more of a clear head and I'll be able to sort through all of this.  I wish I could be a little more hopeful about it all, but the mood won't allow that even for a second.

I wanted to finish this movie but even that feels like too much of a chore right now. Fuck this movie too, I'm just going to bed.  I think it's the sign to call it quits when I get to the point that there are only three people I don't feel like dealing some damage to.

Sometimes I Wonder Why I Need You At All.

The anger has mostly subsided, only to leave concern and confusion in it's wake.  Though I can't be sure how much of it is actually warranted and how much of it came from the dream I had last night.

For various reasons the day has been a thoughtful one and I'm more than ready for it to be over. Definitely nothing new there, but I'm beginning to see why I've always done things the same way.  The more I think on things the more they make sense and I'm not exactly sure how happy that makes me.  I guess when it comes down to slipping back into certain habits, that'll be the time to worry over it.  For now I'll just wait and see how things pan out.

Picked up my paycheck today and it was a rather small one, not a surprise there considering that there was a week where I only got schedule for one day.  Things should be looking up a little though, I've been averaging two days a week and this upcoming one I have three days.  I have plans to put into action, but that's only if I can manage to save up a little bit of money.  We'll see about that though.

Tonight it occurred to me that I have a birthday coming up in just a little over a month.  I really only thought about it because my mom asked me what I wanted and I couldn't come up with anything that I absolutely couldn't live without.  I thought about trying to do something, but somehow I doubt that I'll really feel up to putting anything together.  It seems anymore that birthdays are rather disappointing, so why even bother to put forth the effort?  It'll probably end up being another of those years just spent with the family, but I'm thinking that it certainly can't be worse than last year.